Ta-Da! New blog is ready...

My weblog has a lovely new home at http://amazondotdomme.com

The archives have been moved there, there are many useful links, eventually there will be galleries, and it's just a nicer space overall...

Enjoy! I won't be posting here any more.

Upcoming visit to Portland

Those of you who have been waiting for My next Portland visit will be pleased to know I am planning another visit in the next 2 weeks. If you would like to see me when I'm in town, email Me to schedule an appointment in advance. It is a short visit and availability is limited. Be sure to look over My entire website before contacting Me.

http://www.mistresskatja.com
Contact: http://www.mistresskatja.com/contact.htm

CBT

Next in the "genres of BDSM" series, some words about cock and ball torment.

Disclaimer: Remember, the anecdotes in this blog are about both personal and professional sessions. It should not be assumed that anything described here happens in professional sessions. It should be assumed that I enjoy all of these things!

CBT is one of My personal favorites. Just last night, in fact, I was lying in bed with My subby boyfriend, grabbing him by the hair with one hand and grasping his cock with My fingernails with the other. I increased both the hair-pulling and the cock torment simultaneously, with my ear near his lips so that I could hear his breathing and whimpering. When I kissed him I bit his lower lip and held it firmly between My teeth, feeling his lips tremble against Mine. If I get relaxed and snuggly with him, rubbing his cock in a normal vanilla fashion, he gets bored.

"Mommy?" he says sweetly, "Can you please torment me?" How could I resist such a cutie-pie?

"Ouch!" he sighs, "Thank You." A request for torment always results in nearly unbearable severity on My part...

"Oh, is this what you needed?" (administering wicked torment)

"Um, yes, I think so. OUCH. Thank You" "you think so?" (torment worsening steadily)

"I mean, yes, this is what I needed. You know what’s best for me. Thank you…” (shaking from pain)

"...you're not going to cry, are you? Oh, you poor thing!"

I couldn't be happier.

There are just so many delightful ways to torment the genitals, especially the male anatomy. It’s just so... exposed! One of My very favorite little mind games of all is to punish a sub for having an erection without permission, or for not having an erection when he is ordered to.

For example, when Dominating a foot fetishist, I might seductively slip off My shoes in front of his eyes while the poor thing sits tied up and naked. If he becomes aroused before I have ordered him to get hard, he must endure some ordeal, such as an ice pack wrapped around his cock to bring down the swelling, or perhaps he will be required to give himself a spanking with a little whip until he can obey orders.

On the other hand, if any of the wicked punishments I administer prevent him from getting hard once I have ordered him to maintain this condition, such as clothespins across his tender parts or a swipe of Icy-Hot across the head of the cock, he may experience even more of the same torture. A cock with only a dab of Icy-Hot will get a full coating. Balls fastened with only eight clothespins will be made to accommodate twenty. Perhaps he will be forced to masturbate until he becomes erect, even with the clothespins clacking painfully, or to use icy-hot as lube.

These are only a few of the nearly endless possible variations on CBT. Such a humiliating and sexual sort of pain. Mmmm! My favorite delight of all is to "teach" submissives to love and crave CBT. It taps into that part of Me that likes to control not only the body, but the mind, not simply fulfilling fantasies but creating new desires.

Seduction and Denial

Seduction/denial... our next stop on My whirlwind tour through the many generes of BDSM that I enjoy...

(Note, this weblog mixes descriptions of BDSM scenes from My personal life with those from My professional life as a Dominatrix. It should not be assumed that activities described below occurred in a professional session.)

Recently I read in an email from pro-Domme friend of Mine in SF that Her favorite hobby is "tease and denial, tease and denial, tease and denial, CBT." This made me laugh out loud, because that is one of My favorite hobbies as well.

The dialogue in a seduction/denial scene often goes something like this: "You want Me to touch you, don't you? Do you know how I like to touch a man? Mmmmmm! Well, you're about to find out!" ...After which a firm "spanking" is administered to the supplicant's dirty-bits with a special little paddle.

In one scene a slave enjoyed My caresses for a few moments before feeling the effects of the icy-hot that was being liberally applied. I loved watching him shake and squirm. The poor thing was all tied up and could do nothing about what he described as "a sensation like gasoline being lit on fire" across his cock and balls! (Fear not, lightweights, this sub is a masochist and I wouldn't be this extreme with anyone who didn't love and need it.)

You may notice that I like to use the term "seduction and denial" rather than "tease and denial." This is because the Dominant aspect of this type of play has as much or more to do with the mental realm as the physical. In a seduction/denial scene, the Domina is using her nearly devastating power to captivate her submissive with her sexual desirability. Her power is only increased by his frustration and helplessness to obtain satisfaction.

Any woman in any area of the sex industry, and I include the Dominant in this category even though we do not provide sex, will tell you that males are indeed different from females when it comes to sexuality. It is something we in the industry understand better than most women.

Male desire for women for is so strong; it can be seen as a weakness. Their susceptibility to female beauty and charm is extreme. Personally, I think this sexual weakness towards women is something most males feel quite burdened by hiding in most of their everyday lives. I don't just mean submissive men, either. And I think it's appropriate that they keep their neediness to themselves. Women have other things on their minds that they deserve to have all the time in the world to enjoy. Not that women aren't sexually obsessed themselves. I certainly am. But it’s a bit more... shall we say subtle? than what males generally experience.

In everyday life, men may have to keep their fascination with female desirability to themselves, but in a seduction/denial scene, they can indulge in the lavish experience of prolonged craving. In this kind of scene, obsession which may be problematic in every day life is elevated to a high art.

Where does the submissive part come in? This is not simply about physically teasing a cock without satisfaction! The submissive may be forced to undergo pain or humiliation in order to simply be allowed to look at the Domme, and She is something to look at! Especially in full costume. Especially when She bends over to reveal just a bit more cleavage... Perhaps if you are extremely well behaved you might be allowed a peek up Her skirt? And being extremely well behaved just happens to involve another ten clothes-pins, or ten lashes with the cane. How much will you take, just to see a teeny-tiny bit more of Her devastating beauty? How long can you maintain your aroused state without release? Two hours? Five? Perhaps you are Her chastity-slave and she will lock you up for weeks at a time... the ultimate denial!

And when She does give you attention, it may not be what you had in mind. Pleasure may be mixed with pain. She may have her own ideas about what boys like you really need. Now that you are in a compromised state, it may be the perfect time to receive a lesson in any number of things She may wish to teach you. Perhaps some instruction in manners, posture, or ability to follow directions. Perhaps you need some training in self control. Silly boy, you are so easily manipulated!

For the submissive who craves seduction/denial, the best part is not physical release, but the loss of power and control while under the spell of a clever and Dominant Woman, who is not afraid to use his lust for Her as weapon against him, as brutal and exquisite as the whip itself.

Strap-on part 3, Top ten favorite strap-on scenarios:

Now that I've told you about how My love of anal Domination began, and elaborated a bit on My pet-peeves concerning types of anal play I don't like so much, let Me tell you all about what I do like to do. Keep in mind, this weblog mixes information about the Domination I do in My personal life and what I do professionally. For the record, I must state that it should not be assumed that any particular activity mentioned in the blog has ever happened in a professional session. It should be assumed, however, that I do like to do everything mentioned here!

Although this should be obvious, any use of the words "Mommy" and "boy" refer to age-play roles between consenting adults.

In no particular order: My top ten favorite strap-on scenarios:

1. Mistress trains slaves to be fully orgasmic anal sluts: wet, loose, eager to be used at all times, the ultimate test of which is to please other males in a forced-bi scenes. (This deliciously slow training takes months of physical and mental preparation, including re-orientation of all sexual desires towards anal use.)

2. Mistress coerces embarrassed virgin into taking it and liking it.

3. Mistress cross-dresses the submissive and shows him not only what it feels like to dress like a girl, walk like a girl, and talk like a girl, but how to be fucked like a girl. Oh stop your whining, you deserve it, dressed that way!

4. Mistress trains Her slave in taking large insertions, such as a fist. Again, this can take weeks of regular training. Sometimes the poor slave must wear a buttplug all night every night for weeks to achieve Mistresses desired result! No fussing. Practice makes perfect...

5. Mistress sends poor submissive on errands for Her. He feels so awkward fetching Her coffee and Her mail with a big plug inside. Does anyone notice he is walking funny? He better hurry. If he takes too long, She will very stern when he returns! But walking quickly makes it wiggle in the most stimulating way... now that's noticable!

6. "Mommy" gives Her boy or girl a spanking. But he is just not holding that little bottom still for Mommy to spank! Perhaps a nice buttplug will keep those cheeks spread. you do want to be good for Mommy, don't you? There now, it's not so bad. Surprise! Now each spank hits the plug as well as your skin, and the spanking is not just on your bottom, it's inside, too! Uh oh, you're not getting excited during your spanking, are you.... are you?

7. Mistress keeps Her "toy" all locked up in a chastity device. Now that he will no longer be allowed normal modes of male satisfaction, he has a lot to learn about how to please others. And there is so much that a good girl can do to show her appreciation to the men in "her" life! Sadly, although Mistress's little play-toy becomes very excited by all that abuse, "she" is not allowed to sneak any naughty little orgasms. Good "girls" do not cum. It's just not proper!

8. One day at work the hot new "Secretery" at the office decides to turn the tables. Pretty soon she has her boss tied to the office chair in a short skirt, with a nice dildo held firmly inside. Threats of blackmail with photos of his pathetic condition keep him compliant while he gets a taste of his own medicine as an abused, objectified slut!

9. When "Mommy" catches Her "boy" crossdressing, she decides to teach him a lesson. We can't have our little darling growing up to be a sissy, now can we? The poor boy gets a very embarrassing lesson in what it feels like to be a sissy. The worst thing is, he can't help enjoying the punishment! What if "Mommy" sees?

10. During a simple, routine examination, the Doctor finds Her patient to be a little stubborn. He just doesn't understand why She needs to examine certain very private areas. Unfortunately, our resistant patient has underestimated his Physician. The examination continues with the patient fully restrained to the medical table, with legs spread in the stirrups. His reflexes are tested, as is his pain tolerance. Delicate regions are probed with gloved hands.

Well, there you have it. Those are some of My favorite anal Domination fantasies. Tormented with desire? Awww, poor thing! Go put some ice on it, just to bring the swelling down.

Strap-On Part 2

Ooooh! I am busily building a new weblog, separate from blogspot that should be ready soon. If I'm going to really do a weblog, I might as well really, really, really do a weblog. (I'm not one for half measures, as any submissive whose seen Me will tell you...) But I am taking a much needed break to continue with My strap-on saga.

Someone left a comment on My last post which described what I like to do to men as "buttfucking." A perfect segue into My next topic: Strap-on play and Domination.

Allow Me to clarify: what I like is not simply fucking men in the ass, it is Dominating them using the anal training/humiliation/abuse scenario. Context is everything. Recently pro-Domme friend of Mine asked Me how strap-on play was Dominant for Me. I think her concern, a very valid one, is that it does give the submissive/slave sexual stimulation of a kind, and thus, can be considered "catering" to them and thus not really Dominating them. These issues over what qualifies as "real" Domination in the professional realm, and even the personal realm, are very complex and hotly debated. I try to respect the diversity within BDSM while having clearly defined standards for Myself about what is truly Dominant in My sessions and in My life. My friend's questions made Me think about the issue all over again.

There are such a variety of clients that approach Me. Each one has a different idea about what a Dominatrix does, which is not surprising since women who work as "professional Dominatrixes" do so many different kinds of things. Some of them are very sexual in their sessions, often because they were formerly escorts who are branching out into the BDSM niche. (Hookers-with-whips, as they are sometimes called in frustration by Dommes) In My personal life, as opposed to My professional life, BDSM is often fully integrated with sexual play. I think it's perfectly valid to mix the two, and more power to the Domme who can be both sexual and Dominant with her clients even if they are complete strangers who She has only known for a matter of minutes. It seems that sincere power-exchange in that context, however, would be difficult to pull off.

The main issue here is the difference between BDSM and kinky sex. Kinky sex may have BDSM elements, (handcuffs, spankings, dildos, etc,) but BDSM is an experience far beyond "kinky sex." The client who calls Me asking to be tied up and spanked, and then given a blowjob, is definitely not going to find what he wants with Me. That’s kinky sex, not Domination.

An ex-boyfriend of Mine recently lamented that his new girlfriend couldn't Dominate him like I did. "She's kind of proud of the handcuffs attached to the bed, she likes to show them off to her friends, and she doesn’t mind giving me a spanking or using a strap on, but its not the same..." He said the problem was he didn't feel submissive. Poor guy, I didn't know what to tell him. Like many people, he finds himself in a love and a life that don't fulfill his need to be submissive.

There are a million little ways a Dominant casts their spell. One of the most important is that they understand and manipulate a submissive's desires, instead of catering to them. This is why I'm not interested in the submissive who simply wants My dick up his ass. (Most guys love to be fucked in the ass, silly, it feels good. What's so special about that?) The scenarios I like are more like the ones I originally read about in the Story of O and the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. How is anal Domination different from anal sex? The main turn-on in anal sex is physical stimulation. The main turn-on in anal Domination is more likely to be violation, helplessness, coercion, molestation, rape fantasies, humiliation, etc.

Now, that’s more like it.

The origins of My strap-on fetish

As a jumping-off point for weblog entries, I decided to try to give an anecdote about My experiences with or ideas about each genre within BDSM. Today’s theme, your favorite topic and Mine, is strap-on play.

Strap-on play part 1: How it all began...

Like so many other kinky people, My journey into the world of BDSM began when I read The Story of O as a teenager. For how many other people around the world has that book been a gateway into a life of decadent, debaucherous, satisfaction? It was not so much that the book warped My mind as that it allowed Me to recognize what I already liked. Sadly, my real-life adventures with both boys and girls My own age were not nearly as exciting to Me as the erotic fiction I was becoming reliant on for what I secretly considered to be My "real" sexual relationship: the one that thrived inside My imagination. The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy soon followed as My most favored smut.

At that early phase in the development of My sexuality, I did not imagine that activities described in fiction like that could be lived out. I thought they were just fantasies. I had heard of sadomasochism, but did not connect the stereotype of BDSM to My own fantasies. They didn't seem like the same thing. At that time, it wasn't bondage and pain I fantasized about so much as something more elusive... the things I fantasized about had more to do with coercion, humiliation, training, exploitation, mind games. And the fetish that all those sexy emotions were focused on? Anal domination. From the beginning this was My own primary association with Dominance and submission.

I loved all those elaborate anal training scenes in the smutty books I was addicted to. The stories had descriptions of so many exciting forms of humiliating, stimulating, anal violation: buttplugs that must be worn at all times, chastity devices with insertables attached, to keep a slave constantly stimulated but unable to release, special chairs made with an attached phallus that must be sat upon. The abused slaves in the stories I liked were often "used" anally several times daily by their owners and owners' house-guests.

Needless to say at 17 most of My peers were not interested in this type of thing. I was so bored of vanilla. Perhaps you can relate?

I was beginning to notice, however, that My boyfriends enjoyed being penetrated. They were so embarassed to admit it! I secretly enjoyed not only their response to My ministrations, but their shame at their own pleasure. Poor them! My desire to (consensually!) "molest" boys was surfacing. I think I scared the hell out of them, or more accurately, My discovery of a desire that threatened their masculinity was what was frightening. But I was already starting to use dialouge like "C'mon, do it for Me," when they were reluctant. And thus I started hearing one of My favorite phrases for the first time "Ok, for You. I'll do it for You."

Since then I have enjoyed being a Femme Top in My personal as well as Professional life. I have had many opportunities since to live out all those fantasies about Anal Domination in glorious detail. It is still one of My favorite forms of Domination.

Lots more to say about this. More soon...

Feminine transformation and gender play

As a jumping-off point for weblog entries, I decided to try to give an anecdote about My experiences with or ideas about each genre within BDSM. Today’s theme, boys and girls, is feminization.

Feminization is a world of it's own. There is such diversity within the gender-play theme. There’s the "good girl" that likes to wear white ruffly panties and behaves shyly, so embarrassed to like naughty things. There's the slut that enjoys the feel of black satin lingerie or tight rubber, who likes to show off her bad behavior and to be corrupted and exploited by her Mistress. There's the girl who needs feminine re-education... trained by a firm and caring Mistress in the arts of makeup, walking in heels, feminine voice, posture, and sometimes in how to seduce boys, (or other girls in a lesbian fantasy.) The exhibitionist cross-dresser needs to be trained and taken out shopping or dancing. The reluctant lady sometimes needs to be tied up and forced into her costume and makeup.

The slutty-bitch sometimes needs punishment for her unseemly behavior. The Mommy's-boy who gets caught in Mommy's panties may need special domestic discipline, perhaps a spanking with a wooden spoon, or a punishment enema. And then there is the nervous novice, who enjoys a gentle make-over, with time to talk about fantasies and daydreams while the powder is softly dusted over her face...

These are some of the common themes in a forced-feminization fantasy, but goodness knows there is no end to the variety within the fantasy world of the cross-dresser.

On My trip to SF, My old friend Rachel overheard Me talking to prospective clients on the phone. She was surprised how many of the calls were about feminization. Rachel thought most professional Domination sessions focused on bondage, discipline and sadomasochism. I have been looking all over the web for some solid research about which fetishes are most common within BDSM. If anybody knows where I can see some reliable statistics, I would be most interested. I suspect that there are some differences between the most common fetishes in lifestyle-Domination vs. professional Domination, but I can tell you that bondage and sadomasochism are not the, ahem, dominant themes among clients, although they are right up there.

My top ten client interests are probably ranked in this order:
1. feminization
2. strap-on
3. seduction/denial
4. CBT/NT
5. bondage
6. sadomasochism
7. foot worship
8. verbal/phisical humiliation
9. Mommy-boy play and domestic discipline
10. enema play

Of course, most of these interests are in combination with each other. Sometimes all of the above elements are involved in one scene! (Yes, that takes a few hours...)

I'm sure other pro Dommes have different experiences. The above is just what I seem to attract. Could have a lot to do with the hot photo of Me strapping it on in the gallery.

I explained to Rachel that I think that the BDSM that goes on inside most people's minds seems to be very different from the images of it one sees in the media, or even at BDSM scene parties and clubs. The media sensationalizes and misrepresents BDSM, and what goes on at events are the things that lend themselves to events... Desires for cross-dressing and other fetishes that are more taboo for mainstream males seem to come out most often in private, one-on-one play.

Feminization combines two very powerful elements: sensual stimulation, (satin panties against cock, etc.) and symbolic submission. Many people have some kind of "trigger" that makes them feel submissive or humiliated, usually something that involves violating a social taboo, or taking on a persona that symbolizes a submissive role. Although in My world, femininity means anything-but-powerlessness, in many people's realities, females are frequently submissive to men. Embodying a female persona, then, helps the submissive shed their powerful male identity and frees them to feel submissive and to behave submissively.

Next: Strap-on play