Strap-On Part 2
Ooooh! I am busily building a new weblog, separate from blogspot that should be ready soon. If I'm going to really do a weblog, I might as well really, really, really do a weblog. (I'm not one for half measures, as any submissive whose seen Me will tell you...) But I am taking a much needed break to continue with My strap-on saga.
Someone left a comment on My last post which described what I like to do to men as "buttfucking." A perfect segue into My next topic: Strap-on play and Domination.
Allow Me to clarify: what I like is not simply fucking men in the ass, it is Dominating them using the anal training/humiliation/abuse scenario. Context is everything. Recently pro-Domme friend of Mine asked Me how strap-on play was Dominant for Me. I think her concern, a very valid one, is that it does give the submissive/slave sexual stimulation of a kind, and thus, can be considered "catering" to them and thus not really Dominating them. These issues over what qualifies as "real" Domination in the professional realm, and even the personal realm, are very complex and hotly debated. I try to respect the diversity within BDSM while having clearly defined standards for Myself about what is truly Dominant in My sessions and in My life. My friend's questions made Me think about the issue all over again.
There are such a variety of clients that approach Me. Each one has a different idea about what a Dominatrix does, which is not surprising since women who work as "professional Dominatrixes" do so many different kinds of things. Some of them are very sexual in their sessions, often because they were formerly escorts who are branching out into the BDSM niche. (Hookers-with-whips, as they are sometimes called in frustration by Dommes) In My personal life, as opposed to My professional life, BDSM is often fully integrated with sexual play. I think it's perfectly valid to mix the two, and more power to the Domme who can be both sexual and Dominant with her clients even if they are complete strangers who She has only known for a matter of minutes. It seems that sincere power-exchange in that context, however, would be difficult to pull off.
The main issue here is the difference between BDSM and kinky sex. Kinky sex may have BDSM elements, (handcuffs, spankings, dildos, etc,) but BDSM is an experience far beyond "kinky sex." The client who calls Me asking to be tied up and spanked, and then given a blowjob, is definitely not going to find what he wants with Me. That’s kinky sex, not Domination.
An ex-boyfriend of Mine recently lamented that his new girlfriend couldn't Dominate him like I did. "She's kind of proud of the handcuffs attached to the bed, she likes to show them off to her friends, and she doesn’t mind giving me a spanking or using a strap on, but its not the same..." He said the problem was he didn't feel submissive. Poor guy, I didn't know what to tell him. Like many people, he finds himself in a love and a life that don't fulfill his need to be submissive.
There are a million little ways a Dominant casts their spell. One of the most important is that they understand and manipulate a submissive's desires, instead of catering to them. This is why I'm not interested in the submissive who simply wants My dick up his ass. (Most guys love to be fucked in the ass, silly, it feels good. What's so special about that?) The scenarios I like are more like the ones I originally read about in the Story of O and the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. How is anal Domination different from anal sex? The main turn-on in anal sex is physical stimulation. The main turn-on in anal Domination is more likely to be violation, helplessness, coercion, molestation, rape fantasies, humiliation, etc.
Now, that’s more like it.
Someone left a comment on My last post which described what I like to do to men as "buttfucking." A perfect segue into My next topic: Strap-on play and Domination.
Allow Me to clarify: what I like is not simply fucking men in the ass, it is Dominating them using the anal training/humiliation/abuse scenario. Context is everything. Recently pro-Domme friend of Mine asked Me how strap-on play was Dominant for Me. I think her concern, a very valid one, is that it does give the submissive/slave sexual stimulation of a kind, and thus, can be considered "catering" to them and thus not really Dominating them. These issues over what qualifies as "real" Domination in the professional realm, and even the personal realm, are very complex and hotly debated. I try to respect the diversity within BDSM while having clearly defined standards for Myself about what is truly Dominant in My sessions and in My life. My friend's questions made Me think about the issue all over again.
There are such a variety of clients that approach Me. Each one has a different idea about what a Dominatrix does, which is not surprising since women who work as "professional Dominatrixes" do so many different kinds of things. Some of them are very sexual in their sessions, often because they were formerly escorts who are branching out into the BDSM niche. (Hookers-with-whips, as they are sometimes called in frustration by Dommes) In My personal life, as opposed to My professional life, BDSM is often fully integrated with sexual play. I think it's perfectly valid to mix the two, and more power to the Domme who can be both sexual and Dominant with her clients even if they are complete strangers who She has only known for a matter of minutes. It seems that sincere power-exchange in that context, however, would be difficult to pull off.
The main issue here is the difference between BDSM and kinky sex. Kinky sex may have BDSM elements, (handcuffs, spankings, dildos, etc,) but BDSM is an experience far beyond "kinky sex." The client who calls Me asking to be tied up and spanked, and then given a blowjob, is definitely not going to find what he wants with Me. That’s kinky sex, not Domination.
An ex-boyfriend of Mine recently lamented that his new girlfriend couldn't Dominate him like I did. "She's kind of proud of the handcuffs attached to the bed, she likes to show them off to her friends, and she doesn’t mind giving me a spanking or using a strap on, but its not the same..." He said the problem was he didn't feel submissive. Poor guy, I didn't know what to tell him. Like many people, he finds himself in a love and a life that don't fulfill his need to be submissive.
There are a million little ways a Dominant casts their spell. One of the most important is that they understand and manipulate a submissive's desires, instead of catering to them. This is why I'm not interested in the submissive who simply wants My dick up his ass. (Most guys love to be fucked in the ass, silly, it feels good. What's so special about that?) The scenarios I like are more like the ones I originally read about in the Story of O and the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. How is anal Domination different from anal sex? The main turn-on in anal sex is physical stimulation. The main turn-on in anal Domination is more likely to be violation, helplessness, coercion, molestation, rape fantasies, humiliation, etc.
Now, that’s more like it.
posted by Mistress Katja at 2:43 PM
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